Trans-Sylvania Epic – Or as it should be more accurately called “The Rock Garden from Dante’s 7th circle

May 28, 2022

Trans-Sylvania Epic – Or as it should be more accurately called “The Rock Garden from Dante’s 7th circle

For a number of years I’ve wanted to race the Trans-Sylvania Epic (TSE) stage race in Central Pennsylvania, the prospect of five straight days of racing my bike with no real world worries, responsibilities or problems sounded like a dream come true. But that vision of Paradise did come with a cost, that being the cost. It turns out it’s kind of expensive to take an all expenses paid trip to bike-topia. However, with a certain milestone birthday on the horizon I figured it was time to treat myself to the good life and on a cold Friday morning in December I signed up.

I would say signing up was my first mistake of many, but it wasn’t; my first mistake was listening to my peer-pressuring friends who told me I should register for the “Open” category instead of using my old man status for the first time ever and going for the “Age Group” route. This meant I would be racing against a bunch of youngsters, some of whom where half my age. With very little arm twisting I even convinced fellow Hammer Nutrition athlete, Jeremy Hinkson to join me for the week. Not that it really took much convincing, BIKE-TOPIA has a very strong pull.

Home sweet home

The Finish Line

I could type for days about the conversations Jeremy and I had about getting all our gear around and proper training and recovery techniques, but no one really wants to read all of that so lets skip to Day 0. We have our tent set up in a prime spot near the start line, the dinning hall and the shower room. We’ve cooked some brats over the camp stove and prepped our bikes as best we could for the unknown that was about to come.

That's a lot of Hammer Gel

Making dinner

Stage 1: Poe Paddy

The stage started with a nice slow, controlled roll out of camp on a smooth gravel road. The pace was easy until about a half mile in when the lead truck honked his horn and left us all in a giant cloud of dust, everyone jockeying for position because at mile one there was a gate which only allow two riders through at a time (and one of those was riding through the weeds off the trail). What I was told was coming after this was a shale trail, what there actually was, was much more like a forest service road with lots of flat rocks thrown all over the place, and it all went up hill. The pack slowly spread out and I found myself in a group of 4 guys as we pulled out on the first small section of road which lead into the “enduro” section.

Getting ready for Stage 1

Side note: each stage had what was called the “enduro section”, usually about 1-2 miles long, and often with a notable feature. Each enduro section was timed, 1^st place would get 1 minute deducted from their time for the day, 2^nd place got 40 seconds and 3^rd 20 seconds. Each was marked with special course marking before, at the beginning, just before the end and at the end. I somehow only managed to see two of the five starts, turns out paying attention might have been helpful, who knew).

This first enduro was a rock-strewn descent through an open field and I felt pretty comfortable on it, even with my bike bouncing a bit of all over. After the enduro our group pulled onto a gravel road, stared into a rotating paceline and put down some good speed. Things were awesome.

Then the road made a hard left turn and went from perfectly smooth gravel to having more of the surface covered with baseball to basketball sized rocks than dirt. At least is was all down hill in this part so we went really fast through it. I may have been bouncing around so much at one point my eyes started to water and I could not really see where I was going. Again, better to be going fast so I don’t spend too much time on a hazardous descent.

At the base of the hill was a campground, which we had to run through, followed by a long climb up a smooth gravel road.

After a couple miles of climbing the course turned off the road and onto some singletrack, that’s when we got the first taste of what TSE was really about – rocks, rocks and more rocks.

Little rocks

Big rocks

Round rocks

Sharp rock

Rocks that moved and rocks that must have been smashed into place by a dinosaur a few million years ago.

I managed to ride “most” of the trail. There were a few spots where I was doing a nice hike-a-bike. But I was fresh and wanted to push fairly hard. I did notice my rock riding ability was not what I wanted it to be and I just chalked it up to not having ridden rocks likes that in a long time (more on this to follow, don’t worry, it wasn’t just my riding).

With about two miles left the trail mellowed out, eventually returning to the gravel road we started the day on. A quick hammer down the road brough me to the finish of stage one. Time to do as little as possible while focusing all my attention on recovering for day two.

Stage 2: Coopers Gap

The Queen’s Stage – already.

No point in wasting time I guess. We were told from the beginning stage two was the hardest day. Rocks for days (again, but more), lots of climbing and to cap it off, at mile 30 of a 34-mile day was a two mile climb up a rough gravel road.

The day started a bit more chill than day one; with nearly two miles of easy pavement to warm the legs. This was followed by a few miles of moderately easy singletrack with very few rocks. Up next, a lengthy gravel road climb to spread the group out a bit more.

About 8.5 miles into the day we turned off the road and onto a trail that immediately went straight up. This was another part we were warned about the day before. Long Mountain Trail, or hike-a-bike city. About a half mile of loose, not too rock-strewn trial that averaged about 18% and maxed out at over 25%. I was in a group of 4 or people who all took slightly different approaches to the climb. They guy in front of me kept trying to get on his bike and ride. He would build a couple bike length gap, then get caught up on a rock or root, have to stop and I would be right back on his wheel. I chose to run, when possible, but I walked a lot more of it than I ran. One person behind tried to ride some, then gave up after realizing it was way more work and slower going than just walking.

A good climb is not without its rewards though. Once the climb was complete the course hit a grassy forest road that spent two and a half miles undoing all the climbing we had completed and then some. The track was fast and surprisingly rock free (for the most part). There were a few mud pits with some ruts that had to be negotiated. It was one of these just after a bend in the road that caught me off line. Cruising at about 20 mph my front wheel was just to the right of the rut, but since it was mud, my tire slid in, turned to the left just enough to stop my forward motion, well, my bike’s forward motion, and send me flying off to the side. I did manage to find the only rock in the mud pit; sliding my right knee down it causing a nice gash that would be with me for weeks.

It looks worse cleaned up, but I left that out. You are welcome

Not to be deterred, I did a quick bike check, made sure all my parts were still attached and working and jumped back on my bike. I might have been a bit more hesitant for the next few minutes, but nothing too bad.

Time to climb again, at least this time we were heading for some single track I had ridden on a previous vacation to the area. Turns out we only rode a mile or two of what I’d previously ridden, opting instead for a much more rock covered trail.

The next hour sort of blends together. It consisted mostly of me getting my brains rattled around in my head wondering why my bike was so unhappy with me and the trail. But as along as I kept pedaling I was mostly enjoying myself.

Until about mile 28 that is. The course turned off a gravel road onto a descent that was literally a small edge cut trail, maybe a foot wide, and completely rocks. The entire slope was rocks, the trail was rocks, all you could see around were rocks (and some trees, it was the woods after all). To make it even more fun, the trail itself was covered in leaves, so while I knew it was rocks, I could not see what kind of rocks, or if there were gaps, or extra sharp rocks. All I could do was lean back, control my speed and hope for the best. Turns out that was enough for me, but I did come across a racer at the bottom who got a flat and was in the process of fixing it.

Back to the road for a quick minute before the final climb of the day, and what a doozy it was. Stillhouse Rd. Two solid miles at an average grade of over 8%. To make sure it wasn’t too easy, it had lots of rocks and a number of washed-out ruts. 20ish minutes later I was at the top and ready to roll to the finish line. A nice fast descent, some chill single track and I was done.

It was definitely a hard day and definitely worthy of being called the Queen’s Stage of the event. ~36 miles, over 3.5 hours and nearly 4,700 feet of climbing. Post-race I had an epiphany. The reason my bike was so mad at me and the trail is because the suspension was not set up for that kind of riding. It was dialed for South-East Michigan trails; which are nothing line Central-Pennsylvania tails. So I let a few PSI out of my shock and fork and slowed the rebound down a couple clicks in hopes of a more compliant ride.

After Stage 2 we had to make a quick trip to the Penn State Creamery for some ice cream.

Stage 3: R.B. Winter.

Stage 3 is the only stage that did not start at the campground we were at, but instead at a park about 45 minutes away. The drive was very much worth it to get away from some of those rocks. At least that is what we were told.

Focus face

To no ones surprise the day started off with yet another climb. At least it was on a road and no one was going too crazy on it. It was enough to start to spread the group out before hitting the single track, which was a good thing because the three day racers had joined the event now and the number of racers had about doubled. The trails in this area were much more similar to those I am used to, and I was riding them well. When I did hit rock gardens, my bike was better, but still not good (more suspension adjustments would be needed post-race), but I was having a great ride.

I’ll skip over most of the details, but toward the end of the day there were two longer gravel road climbs that I was feeling great for. I put out some solid effort and managed to pass quiet a few people. I thought I had finally found my form and was maybe starting to get confident.

Then the route turned off the gravel and onto what can only be described as the worst thing I’ve ever tried to ride my bike on. Over two miles of complete and total rock garden. The kind where the rocks like to shift under you and if you try to go around one you are met by another, bigger, more moss covered rock, or twelve. This two mile section took me as long as it did to climb Stillhouse the day before. Oh, and those people I passed on the climbs, they were back and riding the rocks just enough better than I was to pass me. After the longest twenty minutes ever, I finally saw the ground (yes, for the entire two miles there were so many rocks dirt was not visible) and rolled across the line.

As I gathered around the finish with other racers we all commiserated about that last two miles. It was universally hated. I talked with the RD for a bit and he said when he was getting permits for the race everything was still covered with snow, so he did not know how bad the trail really was. He was going off local knowledge, and I think someone must have been pulling a bad prank on him. Excluding those last two miles, I had a great day, rode better than I had the previous two days and was really enjoying my week.

This is probably the area with the fewest rocks, thanks Jeremy for stopping to take the pic

Until I checked the weather for Stage 4

Stage 4: Tussy Ridge

The forecast was calling for rain all night and the possibility of severe thunderstorms during the race.

Luckily for us the forecast was mostly wrong. It rained for just a few minutes during the night, but when we woke up everything was dry. There were plenty of mean looking clouds looming in the distance though. But it wasn’t raining for the start.

The first seven miles were fast but not strenuous, mostly gravel roads the large group pulled fast, but I was able to sit in near the front and not work too hard at all. There was a pinch point from the road to some very nice machine cut trail though, at which the course required us to cross a small river. The only way to do that was to step from submerged rock to submerged rock, one racer at a time. I almost fell in but managed to get my balance with only getting wet up to my knee.

Slightly overdressed in preparation for the rain

A couple of miles of DTE-ish trail somehow transported us to what I think was a gravel climb in a rain forest. Big broad leaves everywhere and so much humidity I might have been better off in a canoe than on my bike (which I had again let a few more PSI out of the shock and fork and slowed the rebound even more).

Then we hit John Wert trail and the rain stared to fall. Rocks, rocks and more rocks; surprise. At least these rocks were wet and really slippery. My decision to run fast tires was biting my in the butt as I could not get any purchase or grip on this trail. Lots of hike-a-bike but I made it through and only got passed by a few people.

Then the sky opened in earnest.

At least I was on a trail I could ride. What really caught me off guard was all of a sudden the rocks had tons of grip. It made no since in my slightly rattled head. The rocks didn’t look any different, I was on the same tires. If anything, they should have been more slippery since they were even more wet. But nope. No point in dwelling on it, I rode on feeling good again.

For a minute

Tussy Ridge Trail. It should have been a really cool trail. I should have enjoyed most of it. Instead it was more like riding up and through a small stream and here the grippy rocks and the slippery rocks were mixed together. There was no way on knowing which kind I was about to ride over until I was on it. It was interesting to say the least.

Time to walk the bike

As seemed to be the theme, the ridiculous rocks and climbs had their rewards. This time they were in form of Bailout Trail and Sidewinder. Two fast, smooth descending trails with tons of well maintained turns that encouraged you to ride just a bit faster. What a blast. Then we had to climb back to camp to finish the day. Soaking wet, covered in mud, but happy to be done with the day. No flats, no mechanicals, no bodily harm. At least my bike was starting to get better and the sun came out and it turned into a beautiful afternoon.

Stage 5: Bald Eagle.

One last day.

One last stage.

One more time for some fun.

And did I take full advantage, after another suspension adjustment and my bike was finally starting to be happy.

The day started the same as stage one, but quickly turned off and we rode the last part of stage one in reverse. The trail was a bit better going down than climbing. After some tough but mostly ridable trail we came to the highlight of the day, a section of private trail set up for moto enduro riding. It was tight, twisty and rock strewn; and I was riding better than I had all week. I picked good lines, felt comfortable on the more technical sections and was making great time.

At one point I came to a “T” in the trail and followed a person in front of me who I could just see, we and about 8-10 others right around us, all turned right onto some even more technical trail, even tighter and steeper than we had been on. After a few minutes I could hear cheering in the woods off in the distance. I did not think much of it at first, but as we rode on it became clear we were not going to end up near where the cheering was coming from. Then we merged back up with the trail we should have been riding. The cheering was coming from about a 1/4 mile back up the trial we should have been on. We all added about ¾ of a mile to our day instead of getting cheered for. At least it was a great trail to ride and the guys around me were all in a similar time range in the overall so none of us lost any time to each other.

Back on the correct trail I was still riding well with my bike handling the terrain better than it had all week. Maybe I really was having fun. Maybe this really was bike-topia.

The private trail took us out to a gravel road which lead to a paved climb back to camp. I hammered up the climb, passing a number of people who didn’t make the wrong turn (someone had fixed the course markings shortly after I went through).

I crossed the line in 1:46:18 (about 4-5 minutes slower than I should have been). But TSE was done.

I finished the week in 16^th place in the Men’s Open division with a total time of 13 hours, 57 minutes and 48 seconds. Covering more than 145 miles and 15,000+ feet of climbing in that time.

Was it bike-topia?

I raced my bike every day for 5 days, someone else made me breakfast and dinner every day, they even did all the dishes. My only responsibility each afternoon was to make sure I did all the things I needed to be recovered, rested and ready for the next day. Had I come in with my bike set up the way it was for stage five, I might have had a slightly more enjoyable first few days, but yeah, it was about at close to bike-topia as I am going to find.

Will I do it again?

Given the opportunity I wouldn’t hesitate, but there are a number of other events I would like to complete first. I’m sure I’ll make it back as some point, but those other bucket list events aren’t going to get crossed off it I keep doing the same races. All that said, I would recommend TSE to anyone who wants to spend a week riding their bike and doesn’t mind getting their brain a bit rattled in the process.

Fuel for the week as mainly Hammer Nutrition Caffe Latte Perpetuem, except stage 5 when I used Cheery Bomb HEED because of the shorter duration. I also used Cola Fizz, BCAA+, Anti-Fatigue caps and lots and lots of Recoverite.

Time for the BIG THANK YOU’s

SPIN Bike Shop, Hammer Nutrition, ESI Grips, Zevlin, Smith Optics, Tannus Armour. Not to mention my family for putting up with me being gone for a week to play on bikes.